How Social Media Can Wreak Havoc on Your Teen and 5 Quick Ways to Intervene
The Dark Side of Social Media Use
If I told you that we are addicted to our phones, could you disagree? We don't like it, but we admit to it. For most of us, it's normalized and accepted now in culture. However, what are the repercussions for teenagers as their brains continue to develop? A new study from YouGov revealed that 1 in 5 teenagers spend at least 4 hours online per day, usually perusing their favorite social media sites like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics reported that 22% of teenagers log onto their favorite social media app more than 10 times per day and it was noted that "a large part of this generation's social and emotional development is occurring while on the internet and on cell phones."
But what's the harm? Isn't this just the way of the future? Hopefully not. Afterall, a study indicated that teenagers and young adults who engaged frequently on social media apps were between 13-66% more likely to report symptoms of depression.
I have worked with countless teenagers as a therapist and here are the things I've noticed and the things I would suggest to parents to help teenagers foster healthier social media habits.
5 Observations of Teens and Technology
Teenagers who are heavily engaged in social media don't really know any better. The only know a world of phones, pictures, and 'like' buttons. That means that they often know don't know there is a healthier way to handle comparison, filters, and trying to get 'likes'.
Oftentimes, a teenager who wants social media and does not have it is considered an outcast. Phone apps are a teen's main tool for communicating, which means simply banning social media use doesn't work well either. Banning them from social media isn't getting to the root of the problem, it's only cutting them off as a branch.
Teenagers are expected to cut down their phones/social media use but that is not being modeled by their parents. If parents want their children to make good choices, they first most make those good choices.
Teenagers are incredibly private with their social media and will not easily be open about it. At best, this means that a teen may not share their insecurities or depressive symptoms. At worst, they could be engaging with inappropriate apps, dangerous people, and harmful behavior.
Good kids still make bad decisions. I can't tell you how many times I have heard, "She's a good kid and I trust her to make good decisions." She is a good kid. But the part of a teenagers' brain that understands consequences is still developing. The decisions that teenagers make seem like good decisions to them at the time, especially when they don't see the future consequences of these decisions.
5 Tips to Help Your Teenager Make Healthier Social Media Choices
Help them experience a world without social media by creating boundaries. Designate times when phones aren't allowed and be very engaged in the apps on their phone. Remember, social media is now part of a child's social life. Being proactive in creating a good balance with phones is key.
Help your teenager break the habit of turning to their phone out of boredom. Active social media, i.e. commenting on posts and chatting with friends, is healthier than mindlessly scrolling. If a teen is actively using the phone that's way better than mindlessly scrolling out of boredom.
Be aware of your own phone use. Teens won't know whether you're reading the Bible, creating a grocery list, or mindlessly scrolling through Tiktok. They'll just see you on your phone. Be aware of the time you spend on your phone and start setting your own healthy phone habits for yourself.
Make sure talking about social media is normalized. Help foster openness about what is posted and discussed. If you don't know how much time your kid spends on social media or where they're spending the most time, it's important to find out! Teenagers love their privacy but it's all about balance. Having accountability put in place first helps build trust, it doesn't tear it down. Also remember, if you're going to immediately judge or become angry with what your teen has to say, they won't share things with you.
Don't expect your kid to make good choices right off the bat with their phones. You wouldn't hand your teenager a bottle of vodka and just expect them to make good drinking choices. Don't hand your child a cellphone and just expect them to make good social media choices. Both are addictive, easily mishandled, and quickly poor for their health. Educate them!
