A Godly Self-Esteem
As a Christian, I struggle often with the concept of self-esteem. Topics like pride, humility, meekness, and being submissive seem to rub against the notion of self-esteem.
Have you asked yourself any of these questions before?
If I like myself, does that mean I value myself more than others?
Should I think positively of myself if I'm a sinner?
Shouldn't I think lowly of myself because I am nothing without Christ?
If someone says I'm pretty and I accept that, aren't I boasting in myself?
If I 'believe in myself' won't I become my own idol and make God angry?
The Bible tells me not to be prideful so it's probably good I don't really like myself, right?
I have wrestled with these questions my whole life. It feels like such a slippery slope. How much can I think positively about myself before its ungodly? Oftentimes, these questions are defeating but they also cause us to slip into disliking ourselves. Especially as women.
As a therapist, I have heard countless times that therapy just focuses on making a person love themselves, serve themselves, and only think about themselves. When we talk about self-esteem, the church can either role their eyes or get very cautious. Typically they won't point blank say, "Loving yourself is sinful, you're supposed to love God and others," but they would much rather lean towards the side of disliking yourself. Just to be safe.
Is it possible to like yourself and be humble? Is it okay to strive for self-care and still value others above yourself? First, let's define pride.
Opposing pride
Pride is defined as an excessively high opinion of the self. Pride is warned against frequently in the Bible. Here are some verses to look up for examples: James 4:6; Jeremiah 9:23-24; 1 John 2:16; Proverbs 18:10-12.
The problem with pride is that it focuses on glorifying the self, not God. It seeks to elevate who we are and the accomplishes we have rather than the work of the Lord. It is common that we are afraid of a prideful heart and therefore swing on the pendulum to the side of a self-deprecating heart.
What does that mean?
Opposing Self-Degradation
Think of pride on a spectrum. On one end is pride and thinking too highly of ourselves but on the other is being self-degrading and thinking too lowly of ourselves. Here's what that usually sounds like:
-I'm not smart
-I'm not pretty or thin enough
-People don't like me
-No one wants to hang out with me
-I'm not good at anything
-I'm not as good as someone else
Sound familiar? What self-degrading thing have you said to yourself recently? On the pride spectrum, it's not good to boast in yourself but speaking down to yourself isn't doing you any favors either. And it's certainly not making you more holy. Why? Because you were created intricately by the hand of God and in His image. When we think too lowly of ourselves, we are denying the very nature of God within us. And we're doubting His handiwork. That's why a healthy self-esteem is crucial!
Self-Esteem the Godly Way
So what's healthy self-esteem then? Healthy self-esteem is knowing your strengths, weaknesses, and worth. Healthy self-esteem is knowing you're a sinner but also knowing your creator made you and died for you, and that makes you worthwhile.
Negative self-esteem usually stems out of lies from the devil and negative thoughts that we harbor. It’s time we wage war on the forces against us, whether spiritual or ourselves. The first step is being filled with the truth. The trick isn't to fill yourself up with ways you like yourself but to fill yourself up with how God sees you and work to see yourself in the same light. Here are some Bible verses to get you started on a new self-esteem journey:
5 Bible verses for a Healthy Self-Esteem
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Cor. 5:17
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9
But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. John 1:12
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10
I challenge you to write these verses out and plant them around the house, in the car, wherever you’ll see them. Familiarize yourself with the truth and become saturated in it. It’s time you saw yourself the way God sees you!
